How do you define "relationship?"

"Exactly, how many times do we have to have sex with a someone to call it a relationship?" my friend (a guy) asked me this today.  It's a tough question - at least for me it was.

My friend happens to be gay but after we debated for a few days we came to the same conclusion. Neither of us could come up with a word or phrase for what to call it when you have a friend whom you like and respect enough to have sex with and even hang out with often - maybe even over a long period of time.

Once, twice, twenty times. Should the number of times you've had sex with a person determine if the partnership should be called a "relationship?" I don't know, anymore. Maybe it's because for a long time I was married, which is definitely a relationship, and to equate dating or seeing someone to a marriage is ludacris. I know some people think it's the same but it is not, not at all.

In my single life, I was seeing a guy for more than a year and whenever he said he wanted to talk about our "relationship" I admit that I cringed, thinking to myself: "that sounds way too serious." And when I told him this he agreed, kind of, but asked me what exactly I wanted to call our friendship. I never did find a good term before we called it quits. But I'm wondering what's wrong with saying we're just friends? Why not just be honest and admit that that you are enjoying one another for now because that's what you both want at that moment.

Relationship is a big word. It's a serious word. And I think I'll reserve that for my closest friends and family (women & men) and discount the sex question. Oddly enough, my deepest relationships don't have anything at all to do with sex.  But I'm wondering: Is that just me??