Whew! I've wanted to get this blog going for almost three years now. Don't know what took so long but I'm home sick (bronchitis) and bored so it's a good time to start ...
Orginally, this was supposed to be a Dating blog with one of my best friends who is an openly-gay man. We're both dating and after sharing a few crazy date stories, we found out that we have had exactly the same experiences. And we have the same issues with men, oddly enough. Ladies, if you're not talking about love & sex with a guy who's just a friend, you are missing out on some good information. ... But I'll get to all that later.
For today since we're talking sex, I want to ask:
Is it okay to use a guy/girl just for sex?
Recently, my girls and I were having this conversation over drinks. They wanted to know why I'd broken it off with a guy who was 17 years younger than me. They think it was a bad move. And insist that I should have just keep him around just for a good time ...
Now I can't lie, the sex was great and he was fine! Great bod, fun, and pretty interesting. That's why I kept him around for so long. We'd been hanging out for nearly two years but it was just that, hanging out. I liked the guy but the "like" wore off and I had to end it. Just couldn't get past the age thing on an intellectual level. (this was the first time I dated younger!) He was happy to keep things going just as they were, but as I told him: "I can't use you for the sex, we've got to connect on more levels than that." Just didn't feel right to me.
Now, I'm missing the sex sometimes (I admit) but think I did the right thing. What do you think?
photo of the day
photo of the day
About Me
- BrooklynChic
- I'm a passionate person. I work hard, play harder and love deeply - but only a few people get that. I care about people and the world around me. I love sports (Eagles/Yankees/Knicks), have a great career, a great kid, a silly dog. I'm divorced and happily dating! life's good. So why blog? I want to make a difference in this life. Every day, my friends and I debate, laugh or cry at the stuff that happens to us all. No matter who we are - regardless of race, gender, religion, politics, economic status, sexual identity or where we live - we are all experiencing the same things. We go through life looking for answers and hopefully finding love along the way. I am a realist and idealist - I think it's possible to be both - and I want to share my opinions, ideas concerns and solutions with other like-minded people out there who are brave enough to be their true selves and try and make a difference in this lifetime. Are you in?
Everything in life is about seasons and stages. When I was *cough* in my 20s,sex-only or mostly-sex-only relationships worked fine. But as you get older, your patience is shorter. You can't overlook the same things that you did in your 20s, even if you're just being physical.
ReplyDeleteAll that being said, I think women especially should go through a period in their lives where they "date like a man." We need to have shallow relationships so we can break that old habit of trying to "wife" every dude we meet.
If you use a guy for pure, physical reasons then it decreases the odds that you'll read more into sex than necessary.
Or at least that's what I told myself when I kicked him out of my bed :)